/

lyrics

you may not know this if you don't know me well
but the more observant among you can maybe tell
I crack a lot of jokes and I take the piss out of life
but I'm often deeply melancholic inside
it's not a lie and when I laugh with you it's real
cos making jokes and having fun is how I deal
with the unstoppable force that is depression
coming at me every hour of every minute of every second

it gets me when I'm with you and when I'm all alone
it gets me when my house is too hot and when it's too cold
it gets me for reasons I truly can't explain
like when I think about the times I got real deep into a video game
like when I played the godfather for xbox 360
I spent untold hours shaking guys down for the corleone family
and honestly I had a lot of fun
but I think about that time in my life and my heart suddenly weighs a ton

is it because the game was an escape from an unhappy life
is it because I was playing games not raising kids with a wife
is it because I wanna be out there in someone else's skin
even a mobster extorting local businesses and running gin
but hang on a minute I'm losing the thread
it's important to finish the cycle aliya said
and I take the things she tells me seriously
I'm not sure that's something that always came naturally

but it does now so let me backtrack to where I mentioned
the endless list of things that fill me with depression
like when someone gives me a gift that I don't really like
and it exposes the magnitude of distance between them and I
or when I think about the times my dad asked me to go with him
to the hardware store to get nail and drywall anchors and baseboard trim
it sounded so boring and I had better things to do with my time
like make lists of all my x-men toys and who would defeat who in a fight
but everytime I'd hear the door of his lincoln town car close
it would hit me like a ton of bricks that I didn't want to play alone
and I would run downstairs and try to catch him before he left
but down the driveway and up the street his tail lights went

this all holds a lot more meaning to me now that he's passed
but even then I would cry and I would feel alone and feel like a stupid ass
and all these years later I think I understand
that I was probably reacting to the knowledge that I had hurt my dad
see I didn't really get it then but he struggled too
depression could swallow him for days and weeks and months though I never knew
and sometimes now when it's got me in its grasp
I think about him and how he battled so he could still be a good dad

it makes me grateful and I wanna pass that on
and give the gifts he gave to me to someone
but who? there's no one here
what have I got to show for thirty-seven years?

please don't misunderstand me, I'm ok
I've got two cats and I love them unreservedly
I play games with my friends and I pay all my bills
and sometimes I meet someone and I think this is it, this is real

and maybe it is this time, who am I to say
but I won't show her this song because she might take it the wrong way
for everyone one of my struggles she's had em too
just like everyone everywhere and yeah buddy that includes you
listening along thinking "wow that sounds heavy"
I've got good news and bad news friend you better get ready

the shit's coming for every one of us one way or another
and I'll be here when it does, I will be your brother
I'll be here when it does, I will be your brother
if you divorce your husband, if you lose your mother
if your kid gets cancer, if you're heart gets broke
if you look out at the world and you start losing hope
I won't blame you, I won't stop you, I won't tell you you're wrong
I'll just be here beside you humming along
cos life is short and kinda fucked up
but my dad taught me to take care of the people we love

take care of the people we love

credits

from Coral Linus: Memories of the World That Was, released December 23, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Tyler Shipley image

Tyler Shipley Toronto, Ontario

Tyler Shipley was the founding member of the Consumer Goods (theconsumergoods.bandcamp.com) and now performs as a solo artist.

contact / help

Contact Tyler Shipley

Streaming and
Download help

Report this track or account

Tyler Shipley recommends:

If you like Tyler Shipley, you may also like:

Bandcamp Daily  your guide to the world of Bandcamp

On Bandcamp Radio

Seafood Sam joins the show to discuss his newest album, " Standing On Giant Shoulders".
listen now