Get all 17 Tyler Shipley releases available on Bandcamp and save 30%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Confusing Times, Feathers They Fall, Theory and Praxis, True Stories, Fall's Autumn, Every Glacier and Crevasse, Old Trees, Three of Wands, and 9 more.
1. |
Three of Wands
03:11
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three of wands
cast your shadows upon
the vast oceans i've crossed
and the dirt paths i've walked
the missteps
and the loss
and the prevailing winds
blowing me across
three decades of life
three goodbyes
three siblings
and three of their husbands and wives
three scoops of cat food
when he's feeling alright
in my years at york university
i've been on three strikes
three of wands
in front of my old house
three empty chairs
i leave em out
rain or sun
for anyone
with a story to tell
of something they've done
good or bad
right or wrong
i'll say what i think
maybe in a song
they'll never hear
cos my music career
is one of several routes
towards which i didn't steer
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2. |
Three Meals
23:22
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i think you'll agree that it's true
i don't spend a lot of time talking about food
i'm just not oriented towards taste
of my five senses its the one i care about the least
but in my life there have been a handful of meals
so memorable that i recall every detail
and the memories stay with me across the years
so if you're not into the nexus of food and emotion, cover your ears
gonna share these stories in three parts
each sounding a little different from this section at the start
cos i'm aware that this is a bit too easy-listening
like the hold music on the phone with the garage fixing my transmission
but like any good intro i want to grab your attention
and assure you that these dining stories are worth your retention
cos each one taught me something about myself and the world
and our unbreakable bonds with each other and the sea and the air and the earth and the dirt
so if you decide to spend the next few minutes
in three different places with three different palettes
i can only offer my heartfelt thanks
in and two cases a restaurant recommendation you can take to the bank
ok what are we saying? is it time to insert a comma?
and move on from this music that feels too much like bahamas
not the beautiful country but the utterly irrelevant band
(no no it's cool, don't worry man)
...
so the first stop on this tour is a very small town called mallaig
on the northeast tip of scotland, the last stop on the train
most people get off the train and grab the ferry to the isle of skye
but it was late and we were tired so we decided to spend the night
it was 2004 and i'd been living outside of edinburgh
away from my first serious girlfriend who stayed home in winnipeg
to save money to come see me and when she did that may
my parents bought us a train pass valid for seven days
so we travelled all over and it was a real experience for me
cos back in edinburgh working in a bar for months i'd been so lonely
i hadn't made a lot of friends and i often felt like an outsider
even when i was surrounded by people protesting the iraq war
now we were together and it was such a fucking relief
the well of loneliness and isolation had filled up so deep inside of me
it was ready to burst and i needed it to but i was only twenty two
and expressing emotion and weakness wasn't part of anything i knew how to do
so that night in mallaig we checked into a small room
and decided to walk the main street of the town to find some food
we found a place called the cabin on a corner straight across from the docks
it looked like it had been there for centuries, half buried in the rocks
from the moment we walked in, i felt the knots loosening inside
it was warm, it was comfortable, it was home, everything felt right
we were hungry and it smelled so good and we got a table by the window
and as we looked out at the ocean i knew i was letting go
of the tension i'd been carrying for nearly half a year all alone
trying to figure out who i was and what i was about far away from my home
now i felt safety and support and comfort and like i was in the right place
i ordered the fish and chips and a heather ale
and when it all arrived and i started into it everything came loose
it was the best fish and chips i'd ever eaten and keep in mind i was living in the uk
and when the taste of the heather ale crossed my lips
it was like i'd died and been buried and i'd arisen
it was earthy and floral and felt like sanctified ground
had been bottled and lost for centuries and suddenly found
and served to me cold on this table in the corner of the planet
and the tears welled up in my eyes and i let go, and this meal began it
so that's the story of how i was brought to tears by fish
and chips and heather ale in a warm cabin in the ocean mist
i've never been back and i'm not convinced i would even want to
cos when a memory so beautiful locks in you shouldn't spoil it, just keep it to hold onto
...
i was in honduras in 2009
hard to believe that was just five years later, feels like another life
i'd grown up so much from anti-war marches in london
to facing up tanks with a video camera during a coup in tegucigalpa
so my second memorable meal was during that time
i was documenting abuses of human rights
one day in late november i hopped into a van
and drove to small town in the south with a guy from an organization called fian
we stopped at a house where a group of people had gathered
in a sitting area in a back room that opened onto a courtyard
there were probably 25 or 30 people all together
to share their stories of military violence and terror
my spanish wasn't great and i felt a little out of place
but i listened and i took notes and i still remember the face
of a man in his late 60s holding a shard of a skull
of his son who was shot by the soldiers as he was trying to run
one after another, these people told their stores
my brain was so fried, i'd been doing this for weeks
i was hardly sleeping and i was emotionally burnt out
but here was a kid showing me his bruises while his mother was shouting
so my colleague from fian and i documented everything
and when we were finished i thanked them for their courage and started packing my things
as we were leaving someone said no no no no and insisted we stay for dinner
and honestly we were both really hungry so
i had one of the tastiest and most meaningful meals of my life
it was tortilla soup and corn and beans and chicken and rice
with thirty some people all packed around a few tables
the heaviness of the day replaced by a lightness that to describe, i'm not able
it was eating the way eating is meant to be
surrounded by laughter and love and a sense of community
we stayed late into the night and i felt connected to something
so important and real and rooted in the bonds of close living
when we drove back to the city we brought a few people with us
there were checkpoints everywhere and someone had to hide under some canvas
in the back of the truck and i don't remember exactly why
but i remember thinking whatever fucking happens please don't let this man die
no one in our party died though a few have been killed since
it's a bad situation and i've written about it
but i'll be forever grateful i was brought into someone's home
to share a meal and be part of humanity doing something so old
just eating, sitting with other people and sharing a delicious meal
it's what people have done as long as people have been people
it's one of the oldest ways we know how to connect with one another
whether with friends around a fire or in a cabin beside the water
...
the third tale in this trilogy was in 2016
and it might be anti climatic after the intensity of danli
there's no shooting or danger of any kind in this story
just a hot day in granada and a slice of humanity
granada is full of interesting artists
who make interesting music in venues built in caves in the cliffs
enrique morente grew up on flamenco in the albaicin
and the music that they make has had a major impact on me
on our way into town from the airport in a taxi
we asked the driver if he had any recommendation for where to eat
and he thought about and said that his favourite spot
was los diamantes and it was just up the block
i was there with someone whom i cared about a lot
but it was unmistakable that our relationship was on the rocks
this was to be the last trip we would take together
we were trying to get along despite the forty degree weather
so we arrived in the city hungry and hot and edgy
and los diamantes was close to where we were staying
so we took the cabbie's advice and i was glad when he said
'there's not many tourists there, it's all people like me instead'
the aesthetic of the restaurant was not my usual style
it was all white high-top tables that stretched twenty seats wide
and the lighting was bright and neon and kitchen was wide open
it was chaotic and loud and not what i would normally go for
but that place and that moment was exactly what i needed
we'd been miserable and isolated and now we were surrounded by people
families, kids, abuelas, aunties and everyone packed tight
at these long communal tables of bright white
nearly everything they served was from the sea and deep fried
we ordered calamari and anchovies and prawns and every time
they brought us a new plate they also brought us a small glass of lager
it was complimentary to help wash down all the salty gambas
i don't recall for certain if this seafood made me cry
but i know that for the couple hours we were in there i was in a kind of high
the food was so fresh and tasty and the beer was so cold
and the crowd inside was bustling and i didn't feel too young, and i didn't feel too old
it was seriously around 42 degrees outside in southern spain
but los diamantes was cool and energetic and local and strange
and as people jostled and shouted and laughed and ate fish
i let it all wash over me like a man granted his dying wish
and i would have happily said my last goodbye to the world in that place
it was the highlight of that trip and that summer and it chased
away all my worries, briefly, which at that time were many
to be surrounded by beautiful people just living their lives made me so happy
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3. |
Three Dreams
18:29
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it's 2 am and i'm tired and i just wanna go to bed
but the cat's curled up sleeping wrapped around my hand
i can feel him twitching like he's deep into a dream
maybe he's chasing down his octopus or catching fish from a stream
or maybe he's visiting his brother who left us a few months ago
i've no idea how a cat processes loss and let's go
of the brother he spent nearly every day of his life with
sometimes i wish we could talk and he could tell me how he manages it
but wherever he is right now i just can't interrupt
so i'm not moving my arm and i'm laying here propped up
cos i was watching an episode of doom patrol before bed
now all i wanna do is lay down my head
if you've ever had a cat sleep so sweetly beside you
you know no force on earth can compel you to move
until the cat decides to move of his or her own volition
inscrutable like every other cat motivation
eventually the cat moved and i was able to go to sleep
and the next morning my alarm interrupted the strangest dream
a dream where i was a student at the college where i work
and i was in class and get this, adolf hitler was the professor
yeah you heard that right, i mean what kind of nonsense am i thinking?
i have no idea what it meant or what problem my brain was solving
all i know is that hitler's classes have a ten minute break in the middle
which seemed, for the 20th century's greatest villain, oddly reasonable
...
as absurd as the fucking premise of this dream no doubt is
through the dream, in fear, i was increasingly gripped
a growing sense of foreboding and the knowledge that just one slip
could mean some of kind of dramatic danger would be imminent
and yet, at the same time it was all insanely trivial
me and my teenage classmates making jokes to turn down the dial
of the awkwardness in the room, as if it wasn't fucking hitler standing there
if you have any theories about what all this means i'd really really like to hear
but i'll note that i did get an email today from my boss
the president of the college sent a message to all of us
that his annual breakfast celebration was going online
and he wants us to send in videos of ourselves having a fun time
doing our work from home while - and this is a direct quotation -
quote: grooving to justin timberlake's can't stop the feeling
comparing to hitler might be a bit of a stretch i'll admit
but there are layers and layers and layers of why i don't want to do this
anyway that dream was a month ago and these words have been on hiatus
it's been a busy stretch and i got pulled in other directions
but last night my dreamscape got intense and i needed to write
down the details so i can try
to make sense of this in the light of day
cos when i woke up from it this morning there wasn't a lot of sense to make
i dreamt i waded out in the ocean far far away from the beach
the water wasn't deep and you stayed on the sand waiting for me
i guess i drifted so far away that i lost sight of the coast
there was some kind of wind kicking up and i knew it was time to go
but i looked around in every direction and i didn't know where you were at
it was like i'd moved so far away from you that i didn't know how to get back
i wasn't scared for me and i didn't feel guilty for leaving you
i just thought, ok, i guess i have to decide what i want to do
and in the end i waded my way back to the edge of the water
it was nowhere near where you were waiting but i kept trekking onward
i slid down a sand dune and i passed a lot of other beachgoers
and though i made passing conversation, in my goal i was not deterred
the dream ended before i made it back to you
but i know that in the dream that was what i intended to do
and yeah in the real world we've had a pretty difficult summer
and i've drifted pretty far into that metaphorical water
but even though i can't see the way right now i'm putting one foot in front of the other
we may be a long way away but each day i'll try to move a bit closer
cos life is getting shorter and we have to give ourselves a chance
to be known and loved and to change and grow and, when the winds pick up, to move past
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Tyler Shipley Toronto, Ontario
Tyler Shipley was the founding member of the Consumer Goods (theconsumergoods.bandcamp.com) and now performs as a solo artist.
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