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Cherry and Cinnamon

from Confusing Times by Tyler Shipley

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lyrics

War zone, heavy action movie sequences. Seems to be a military tech company maybe fighting with a mercenary group, over who will have the weapons. I don’t really know, and I don’t really have a specific role in the fighting, it’s more like I’m watching it as a kind of action movie. After tons of massive explosions there’s a sequence over some water in which I get shot down and land in a shallow lake. I wade to the shore where enemies are waiting for me around a Humvee of sorts. I’m an older middle aged man, and now I’m dealing directly with a man a bit younger than me, who I know and I had once trusted. He offers me to join their side, but I ask him if I can trust that the weapons will be used for good (or something like that.) He can’t make that guarantee so I say I can’t be a part of it, but he doesn’t kill me, he lets me walk away. But I’m literally walking because I don’t have a car there. I’m in the middle of nowhere. So I walk down a side street and there's a group of old people who beckon me over and now I’m in their kitchen. They are very old, but they are praising me and thanking me and offering me pie. They have at least six different fresh pies for me to choose from. I choose a piece of cherry pie and cinnamon pie. It starts to seem funny to me that after all that war zone stuff, I’m just eating pie with old people.

The main version of the dream is actually the second walk through for me, so I already know how it’s going to end. I’m a leader of a major revolutionary cell, we are about to pull off a massive and dangerous mission that has been in the works for a long time. I know that we are going to get caught, because at one point as I am stealing some hardware supplies from a store I remember that they catch me from the video tape from that store. The mission goes ahead and I rally everyone with a speech earlier in the day of the mission, just as a new group of people join us.

Now we enter the final phases of prep before the mission, but I’m drawn close to someone who has a central role in the operation. Someone who I know will not survive. At one point, I help her with her last minute prep. She climbs on my shoulders to get something from a high shelf, but it seems to strike her that this is going to be the end. She seems to want to be close to me, so we put on a movie that feels familiar and hold each other. We recognize in this moment that there is a culmination of a deep love, and in the short time before the mission begins, we build a lifetimes worth of a love bond.

Eventually the time comes and the mission starts to feel chaotic, perhaps because the cops are onto us. The end splices into a few different alternate endings, one where we successfully pull off the mission but she dies and I am captured. In another, she chooses not to go ahead with the mission, and it fails and most people are caught. I have a vague notion that we will live out our days together but remain stuck in a kind of unsatisfied loop for having betrayed the mission that meant so much to us and was our central bond.

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from Confusing Times, released February 3, 2024

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Tyler Shipley Toronto, Ontario

Tyler Shipley was the founding member of the Consumer Goods (theconsumergoods.bandcamp.com) and now performs as a solo artist.

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